Last week, I finally got to cross another entry off my concert Bucket List: Rob Zombie. I actually can’t believe it’s taken me this long to see him. He’s come round a couple of times in the last few years and something always got in the way, so when I heard about this one, I put it on my calendar.

But, I actually kind of drug my heels on buying a ticket. I’m nothing if not a procrastinator, but it paid off in the end. I snagged one for general admission (the concrete area directly in front of the stage) for $75 online and actually printed it off just minutes before heading out the door to drive to the show. I thought the website said it started at 7:30, so my plan was to arrive at least an hour and a half early to try and make my way up front. I’ve become spoiled in recent years when I kind of followed Nine Inch Nails all over the southeast with my friend Donna, standing pretty much right at the rail for every show.

Unfortunately, I got held up and couldn’t arrive as early as I would have liked. I was worried when I drove up at about 6:50 and saw three massive lines stretching pretty far, and one really short one, comprised of maybe 10 or 12 people. At first I assumed that must have been for VIP passes or something, so I avoided it. Then I figured, what the hell? The worst that could happen was I’d sneak into the back of it, get kicked out, and have to get to the back of one of the other massive lines. It kind of didn’t matter if that happened now or later, because getting into one of those other lines meant that I didn’t have a snowball’s chance of getting anywhere close to the stage anyway.

So, I snuck on into the back of the short one, clinging to my George Constanza-esque belief that if you just act like you belong somewhere, people will believe you. After all, it’s not a lie, if you believe it.

Guess what, it paid off.

All the lines opened at the same time, and it turns out, it didn’t matter which one you were standing in. As long as your ticket was valid, you got through, so I skipped my happy ass on down to the 2nd row, surrounded by people wearing VIP passes, which allowed them to get in a tad earlier. It also meant they paid something like $200 a ticket. Suckers.

The tickets actually said 8:00, but Zombie and the band didn’t actually hit the stage till well after 9:00. First, we had to endure quite possibly one of the worst DJ’s I’ve ever heard. I don’t want to be a snob about it, but I’ve been DJ’ing radio and clubs for over 15 years, and after three songs, I just wanted to hop on stage and show him how it was done. He came out wearing a mask and ran around the stage while “DJ’ing”. The quotations mean that he basically just hit “PLAY” a bunch of times on his laptop while we all put up with song after song of mediocre cock rock.

After getting boo’d off the stage, he finally lifted his mask a couple times, flipped off the crowd, and ran off. Turns out, he was actually Ginger Fish, Rob Zombie’s drummer (formerly of Marilyn Manson)! So, we waited the requisite setup time for the stage to get sorted. You’ve been to shows. You know how it is. As the mics were being put into place and the set decorations were being raised, I took this picture.

I love his setup and this got me totally amped for what was about to happen. John 5 (also formerly of Marilyn Manson), hit the stage first, wearing a cool gas mask. I’d include a picture, but all the ones I took came out blurry. But I did snag this one of Rob himself when he came to the mic.

They opened with “Teenage Nosferatu Pussy”, which honestly wasn’t one I was familiar with. Right away, I noticed how much fun the bassist was. He seriously played up to the crowd and you could tell how much he enjoyed it. I wish I’d taken more pics of him, but you will see a couple more later on.

They then went on to “Superbeast”, followed by “Get Up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine”. Yes, the James Brown song. Didn’t see that one coming. It was the first of several unexpected covers they would do that night. You’ll see Rob doing his “Sex Machine” strut here. And yes, that’s Ginger Fish in the back, doing a much better job as a drummer than a DJ.

A couple of more shots as they played a couple more songs, including “More Human Than Human”. It was during that song that THE COOLEST THING EVER HAPPENED. I didn’t get a picture of it because it was one of those moments where I could experience it as it was meant to be experienced, through you know, living, or I could be one of these idiots who experience the best moments of life through a tiny rectangle.

I mentioned earlier that I was incredibly close to the stage (obviously, from these pictures). During the song, Zombie comes down to the wooden barricade between the crowd and the stage, walks along the barricade, and gets right in the faces of the first two rows. As he made his way toward me, everyone around me was holding up their hands for him to hold. He grabbed the hands of the guy next to me, then put his face right into mine as he belted out the song. I tried to get the hand-hold, but the best I was managed to do was awkwardly grab his leg and pat him on the back as he went on by.

Still, I grabbed Rob Zombie’s leg as he screamed “More Human Than Human” into my face!

You guys, John 5 has the coolest guitars. He swapped his guitars as much as they swapped out wardrobes. It think these were taken during “Sick Bubble-Gum”

Further evidence. You can’t see it too well in this pic, but do you see that purple-ish, lit up rectangle on the guitar, right behind the strings? That was actually a screen that was playing The Haunted World of El Superbeasto. I kid you not. He held it up to the crowd and showed it off a bit as the movie played on this guitar, as Rob made his way to the NEW, AWESOME SKELETON MIC STAND, seen here:

Why a new AWESOME SKELETON MIC STAND? Because it was time for “House of 1000 Corpses”, one of my favorite tracks! I had no idea they ever played that one live. It was one of the major highlights of the show, but the best was yet to come. After this, the timeline gets a little fuzzy for me, but here are a few more pics covering the next couple of songs:

And then came the one I was waiting for. It was around this time that a massive black cloud started to form just to the left of the crowd. It really looked like a huge storm was about to open up. Rob talked to the crowd a little, mentioning that if it rained enough, they’d have to cancel the show. He then called to the crowd for requests. Of course, people yelled out a bunch of titles, and he singled out one guy who was just to the right of where I was standing. I can’t remember the song that was requested, but when he motioned to John 5 to start playing it, John 5 started playing and singing “Jessie’s Girl”. For a minute, I honestly thought they’d go all the way with it. But, Rob stopped him and said something like, “We don’t have a lot of time! Play the damn song!” And that was when I heard the opening guitar bit I’d been waiting all night to hear. The one song I would have shown up to hear, even if it was the only song they’d play that night – “Thunderkiss ’65!”

And man, did they not disappoint. They got about 3/4 of the way when John 5 and Ginger Fish stretched it out into an extended guitar solo, seen above. They finished up and that was pretty much the end of the song. Rob then took to the stage again and gave a cool little speech, talking about how much of a fan of The Ramones he was back in the day. He then said something along the lines of, “Most of you never saw The Ramones live, but if you had, it would have sounded something like this.” Then they fucking played “Blitzkrieg Bop!” And not just that. At the end, they seamlessly transitioned right back into a reprise of “Thunderkiss ’65!” It was the best way ever to present my favorite Rob Zombie track. Time to leave the stage.

Actually, no. Time for the first encore and another costume change. Rob came back out in this America themed getup, complete with star spangled top hat, and played “The Star Spangled Banner” and “We’re an American Band”, yes the Grand Funk Railroad song. Didn’t see that one coming either. They then left the stage for a second time.

Encore 2! They came back out with another costume change and played “What Lurks on Channel X” and “The Lords of Salem”. I thought for sure when they walked off after that, it was all over. Nope.

Encore 3!… “Dragula!” As it started up and the crowd cheered, Rob announced it would be the last song. After it was over, all four of them lined up at the front of the stage, took a bow, and that was that. Here is the last pic I took, as Rob walked off, saying his final goodbyes.

I only had two complaints: 1) My friend Cyndi, who I thought would be going with me, wasn’t able to make it, and 2) They didn’t play “American Witch”, which I was really looking forward to hearing. But, if you’d like the full set list, here you go:

1. Teenage Nosferatu Pussy
2. Superbeast
3. Get Up (I Feel Like Being a) Sex Machine (James Brown cover)
4. Living Dead Girl
5. Dead City Radio and the New Gods of Supertown
6. Drum Solo
7. More Human than Human
8. Sick Bubble-Gum
9. House of 1000 Corpses
10. Meet the Creepr
11. Never Gonna Stop (The Red, Red Kroovy)
12. Jessie’s GIrl (Rick Springfield cover – snippet)
13. Thunder Kiss ’65
14. Guitar Solo
15. Blitzkrieg Bop (Ramones cover) (Followed by “Thunder Kiss ’65” reprise)

ENCORE:
16. The Star-Spangled Banner (John Stafford Smith cover)
17. We’re an American Band (Grand Funk Railroad cover)

ENCORE 2:
18. What Lies on Channel X?
19. The Lords of Salem

ENCORE 3:
20. Dragula

It was a seriously SOLID show. I can’t recommend seeing them enough, whether you’re a fan of horror, sci-fi, or just damn good rock and roll. Between the theatrics, the interplay with the crowd, and the tightness of their playing, these guys seriously know how to put on a performance. I’ll even forgive Ginger Fish for that Dj’ing thing.

This week, the horror world took some hits.

First, we got news that Betsy Palmer, who we all know for playing Jason Voorhees’s mother, passed away at the age of 88.

I can count on one hand how many scenes in horror films genuinely scared me as a kid, which now that I think about it, would make a great idea for a post. Excuse me while I go jot down some notes…

The first Friday the 13th film I saw all the way through was Part 3, which as a result, will always hold a special place in my heart as my favorite of the series. It actually has nothing to do with the fact that it’s the one in which Jason gets his iconic mask, but more for the creative kills and Richard Brooks’s body language and overall portrayal. Those were the days when Jason moved like a shark, and not so much like a lumbering linebacker, no disrespect to Kane Hodder intended.

It did scare the living daylights out of me though, but mostly for the scene near the end when we see him without the mask for a few seconds, clawing at the window. Jason’s de-masked scenes have always been my favorite scenes of the series.

But even though Part 3 is technically my favorite, it’s not the one that scared me the most. That honor would go to Part 2, more specifically this shot.

That shit MESSED ME UP. I had nightmares of the camera zooming in on Ms. Voorhees’s head, with her voice over on top, telling the story of what happened to Jason. And of course, at the last minute, her eyes would pop open.

I was a weird kid. I chased that high whenever I could, whether through books, film, and later on, through music. This naturally lead to a love of practical makeup effects. While other kids were outside sporting it up, I got off on scares – being scared, and more importantly, scaring others. I wanted to make monsters. Hell, I wanted to be one.

I spent a lot of time reading up on it. I had subscription to both Fangoria and Gore-Zone. I devoured every bit of industry media I could find, and it was obviously much harder back then, which is is exactly what made it special. Getting that issue of Fangoria in the mail every month was like Christmas. And it was through those pages that I discovered names like Dick Smith, Rob Bottin, Steve Johnson, Tom Savini, Stan Winston, Jo Blasco…and Rick Baker.

Baker announced his retirement from the effects world this week and it’s one of the biggest blows to the industry that we’ve seen in a long time. The eclipsing of practical effects by CGI has been happening for a while now, but seems to have exponentially increased in recent years, to the point that guys, no MASTERS OF THE CRAFT, like Rick Baker, haven’t been able to get work. Their treatment is a major black eye on the industry.

You don’t need to look any further than the debacle of 2010’s The Wolfman, in which Baker’s very competent, beautiful makeup effects (his return to werewolf cinema) were covered up by cartoonish CGI, to see the direction we’ve headed. I remember being angry just watching it in the theater.

But the biggest shame is the loss of the next generation of practical makeup effects artists. Yes, as long as there is cinema, there will always be a need for makeup, but will there be a need for the kid sitting in his basement, creating creatures by hand that look better on camera than anything Hollywood is putting out there now? We’re not just losing one of the greatest artists in cinema, were losing the craft as we know it, and all the potential it could hold. For more on this, I recommend this great piece by John Squires over at Halloween Love. I both love him for what he does over there and hate him for almost always doing it faster and a little better than I do.

So, let’s rewind a little bit. Back in the days when you could reliably make a living in monsters, I decided somewhere around the age of 14 or 15, that was exactly what I was going to do. I remember being about 12 and doing a lot of werewolf makeup for Halloween. I’d apply hair to my arms and face, and come up with ways to do “prosthetics” by using any cheap trick I could find in magazines, crafting snouts and brows out of paper mache, rubber, and spirit glue. To this day, I can remember the smell of the glue stuck to my face and arms, and how hard and painful it was to yank all that hair off.

Somewhere around 1992 or 1993, I decided to get serious and started looking into schools. Welcome to this post’s third act.

THE JOE BLASCO MAKEUP CENTER!

Jose Blasco’s ads ran quite a bit in Fangoria back then, and not having the luxury of the internet in those days, it was the only school I’d heard of or found that would suit. My logic at the time was that I would go to the Orlando location over Hollywood, purely because it was closer to home. Knowing that college was just a couple of years off, I went ahead and sent off for the information packet to see what it was all about.

Let’s dive in.

Notice that the letter mentions that you can take a tour of the location. I brought that up to my parents, but it wasn’t happening. Once a year, I’d go to Myrtle Beach with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, but that was the only vacation I was ever likely to get. Taking off to Florida to go check out a makeup school just wasn’t something either one of my parents were going to spring for. You uh…can imagine my dad’s reaction. “You want to do what now?”

I mentioned earlier that I’d messed around with bootleg effects makeup at home, but never anything along the lines of most of what’s listed here. The prospect of this got me more excited than ever. While other people were working at degrees in things like Business Administration and Mass Communications, I’d be taking classes in “Oozing Puss and Bladder Effects” and “Carnage Simulation”! CARNAGE SIMULATION! And my parents didn’t want to take me on a tour…Come on.

The packet is actually quite extensive and includes a lot of ancillary info, but I just had to include this page. Let me digress a second to comment on the charm of the production of the packet itself. Instead of slick, glossy paper with loads of fancy graphics, this thing is bare bones. It almost has a DIY aesthetic to it. All of the pages are cobbled together with black and white photocopies of behind the scenes pictures on regular, plain white paper. it reminds me of old flyers for DJ’ing gigs I used to make, using nothing more than paper, scissors, glue, and a copier.

Turns out, all you need is a a few rough materials and a lot of imagination to make something more charming and effective than a bunch of slick computer graphics could ever do. Imagine that.

Back to business. You’ll see that this page is centered around Blasco’s work on Ilsa: She Wolf of the S.S. I’m well familiar with the cult status of that one and I’ve always wanted to check it out, but I guess now’s a good a time as any to say with great shame that I never have. You better believe I’m doing something about that straight away. I’m also ashamed to say that until some quick IMDB’ing just now, I had it stuck in my head that Ilsa was played by Sybil Danning. How did I make it this far into my life knowing so little about sexy Nazi death camp wardens?

This page got me a little excited too. It’s a spread of students’ works. I always like looking at this sort of thing, whether it’s from this school or Savini’s or any other semi-pro work. At the time I sent off for this, it got me jazzed that in a few years, I might be doing the same thing.

Out of curiosity, I checked out the names of the students featured on this page on IMDB, and Matthew Mungle actually went on to some pretty big things. He worked on Schindler’s List, Inception, and a lot more professional work.

So, I guess you’re wondering what happened? Did I follow this dream and go on to be the next Rob Bottin? Sadly, no. I have worked in film quite a bit in various capacities, but near the end of high school, I traded practical effects for a more practical line of work. When it came time for college, I settled on majoring in Film and Video Production and Editing. In my long college career, I’ve worked on everything from cutting 16mm with a Flatbed Steenbeck editor to using Final Cut, as well as interning at the SC Film Office, and doing PA work on a lot of films shot here in the state. (At what point did this post turn in my resume? Sorry about that…)

As for special effects work, I spent years working in the biggest, baddest, scariest haunted house in Columbia, SC and had a blast doing it. I also did some effects work on a shoe string budget film called Head Cheerleader, Dead Cheerleader. The shining point of the entire thing was that it starred scream queen Debbie Rochon, but that was just about the only thing it had going for it. More on that some other time. Trust me, it’s its own post.

I’d love to say that I saw the writing on the wall and got out of the makeup game before it took a downturn, but the truth is I just didn’t have the balls to chase the dream. I kind of regret that now. I have had some great experiences in the industry, and as of this writing, I’m actually working on returning to school in a few months to continue my studies, but it’s for a specialty that’s far less fun and more tedious. While I will be paid to create art digitally, I’d rather be surrounded by liquid latex and animatronics.

Bottom line: Hopefully we, the fans and industry professionals alike, will learn from our recent losses. I’m happy that people my age and younger are still coming to the conventions, getting the autographs of the special effects giants that are still around, and dreaming of being just like them. I’m happy that I, myself have gotten to meet Tom Savini a couple of times and had some great conversations with him. And, I’m happy that a show like Face Off is doing so well. I just hope it’s not too little too late.

Welcome back for the third and final part of my coverage of the 2015 Mad Monster Party. At this point, you’re probably sick of looking at pictures of me with a goofy grin, posing next to b-list celebrities, but things are about to amp up in a major way. So sit back, grab some coffee, absinthe, or whatever your poison of choice is, and enjoy the home stretch.

When we left off in Part 2, we’d met all the rest of the cast of Fright Night and found something great in the restroom that let me go into a lot of cool, secret places. Ok, there is no way I can word that that doesn’t make it sound weird.

Let’s meet some more favorites. First up is Steve Railsback, who I’ve been a huge fan of for years. He’s mostly known for his performance as Charles Manson in the first adaptation of Helter Skelter. I’ll agree he did a great job with that, but for my money, out of all the guys who have played Charlie over the years, the one who totally nailed the voice and mannerisms was Jeremy Davies in 2004’s made-for-TV take on Helter Skelter.

However, when I think Steve Railsback, I instantly think of his performance in Ed Gein. We spoke at length about the role and how he got it and how when I think of the real Ed, I picture Railsback’s face before I picture the actual guy. He just is Ed Gein to me now. Super great guy too. Seriously, meet him if he comes to a con near you.

Next up was another highlight of the con and one of the major reasons why I came this year. TIm Capello! Or, as most of you know him, the oiled up saxophone guy from The Lost Boys. There are very few scenes in films I can think of where a guy just shows up, does a thing for one or two minutes, you never see him again, and it ends up being one of the most memorable parts of the movie. Capello has toured with the likes of Peter Gabriel, Carly Simon, Billy Crystal, and Tina Turner, but that scene, the one we all know and love, made his career and turned him in to a cult film hero.

Dude is cool as all hell too. I’m still kicking myself for not buying a bottle of his own brand of body oil that he was selling from his table. I did manage to snag the autographed poster above though, as well as a CD of his new single, “I Still, Still Believe”, which he also autographed on the back. More on him later.

After him, I finally got to meet Lynn Lowry, who I kept missing all day. We talked about her cameo in The Crazies remake and the fact that the only complaint I had about the con this year was the deficiency of female guests. We’ve already discussed Amanda Bearse, but I also got to meet Christine McCorkindale (“Shunna Sassi” in Nightbreed), although I didn’t get a picture. Lynn was a very nice and friendly lady, and still very attractive. We also had a great discussion about the state of the film industry and her experiences with creepy con-goers. I just hope I didn’t give her another story to tell.

I then headed into the vender room where I got to talk again with Kenny Caperton, owner of The Meyers House – North Carolina, quite possibly the coolest thing a fan has ever done to show his love of a film. I’ve met him before and we have some mutual acquaintances. He’s a great guy and you guys should seriously check out his Tumblr and film, Honeyspider.

After speaking for a bit, I walked around the corner where I spotted Danny Trejo. I don’t have a picture or interesting story, other than to say he was about to go somewhere and couldn’t be bothered to look up from his phone or say a word to me as I mentioned how big of a fan of his my dad is and how much he’d love to be there and, you know what, never mind, Danny just walked off as I was talking and ignored all of that and me completely, so fuck you, Danny Trejo.

Later that night, I met back up with my friends, including Bill of Veggie Macabre fame (one of the best kept secrets on the internet) and hung out in this hotel bar. I half expected to see Jack Torrance sitting alone, nursing a double, and wondering how to handle the woman and the boy. A man does have his responsibilities, after all…

From where this picture was taken, if I’d turned around and took a picture of the other side of the room, you’d see a stage where a Fright Night trivia contest was taking place.

Have you ever had one of those really cool moments in life where you wish you could capture it in time and relive it over and over? Minutes after this picture was taken, both William Ragsdale and Amanda Bearse walked in to hang out for the contest, and as they walked by me, I gave them both a “Hey, how’s it going?” Ragsdale then patted me on the back and said, “Heeey!”

I’m telling you kids, having the stars of one of your favorite horror movies pat you on the back while you’re in an incredibly cool bar, hanging out with some of the best friends a person could ask for…it doesn’t get much better than that.

But, things were going to get even better…

Next up, we went back to the room where the Fright Night panel took place to check out some crap opening band who’s name I can’t remember. After that was an AC/DC tribute band called AC Deceased. They were pretty great, actually.

There was also a costume contest and beauty contest, but I didn’t take too many pictures of that. The one that I did take that turned out ok was just a blurry picture of a guy in a massive Boo Berry costume. Take my word for it, it was fantastic.

All this leads up to the one thing I’ve been teasing for all three parts of my convention coverage. I’m trying to find a way to set this up, but there’s no way to without just coming out and saying it.

I SAW TIM CAPELLO PLAY “I STILL BELIEVE” LIVE.

I know this sounds corny and I don’t care. We had some really great seats and when the music started and he was standing off stage, out of sight with his sax revving up, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been that excited about a show…or anything, ever. Then, dude came out and played the hell out of that song and it was just as glorious as you would want or expect it to be. And it was long! He extended it at the end, came into the crowd, and just rocked out. The only thing that could have made it better was if I’d looked over and saw Star doing her slow clap dance.

I say this without a shred of humor or exaggeration; it was the climax of an amazing weekend and literally one of the greatest moments of my life.

The next morning, Bill and his crew had to split, but I had free reign to go back in for another day because… R.I.P. PIN, SUCKERS! Before checking out some of the panels I had in mind, I had about half an hour to kill, so I decided to go down to the hotel lobby to get some coffee. Coffee was really all I had in mind, but near the bar, they were serving a massive buffet breakfast. One of the bartenders told me they were about to close up, but since they were going to have to pack it all away soon, I could get a plate for free. Keep in mind, those were his exact words.

So I sat down to a couple of massive pieces of bacon, fruit, and juice. I looked over and across the room, sitting alone, I spotted Stephen Geoffreys. Obviously, I wasn’t going to bug him, but it was cool to know that we were sort of eating breakfast “together”.

About a minute later, a waitress came back and dropped off a check… for $17! Hey now, I thought this was free. So, I went back up to the bar and the guy I spoke to earlier was gone. I mentioned it to the female bartender there, and she didn’t seem to know what I was talking about. It was nearly time for the Doug Bradley panel to start, so I didn’t feel like arguing it. That was some damn expensive bacon.

The panel was great and he told a lot of informative anecdotes about how he first met Clive Barker, their early years working together, and particularly about shooting Hellraiser 3, which was shot in North Carolina. I was particularly interested in his detailed description of how the Pinhead makeup has evolved over the years and what it was like to apply it for each film. The Q&A was fun too and hearing him totally rip into Hellraiser: Revelations was worth the price of admission alone.

Next up was the Tobin Bell panel. That guy is intense. I didn’t meet him or get his autograph, but the panel was a lot of fun and he had some interesting stories regarding his career outside of the Saw films. He’s a very serious guy and I get the impression he stays in character during most of the shoots. I kind of regret not bringing a little handheld tape recorder and having him say something into it.

I also attended a Child’s Play panel attended by Chris Sarandon and Alex Vincent. I mentioned in Part 2 that I’d met Sarandon several times, but this was the first time I finally gotten to meet Alex Vincent. He’s a cool guy and incredibly down to earth.

After leaving the panels, it was time for my final sweep. This is both one of my favorite and least favorite parts of every con. Have we milked every bit of this that we can? How much money do we have left for one final autograph? Who haven’t we met yet? This is it. YOUR LAST SHOT to do something or see something or meet someone cool. Don’t blow it.

So, I made a final sweep of the Fright Night cast, saying my goodbyes to all of them. I stopped by Stephen Geoffreys’s table and mentioned the $17 dollar bacon to him. He got all shifty and nervous, looking around, and said, “Yeah, that’s uh…really unfortunate.” I don’t think I’ve ever had a single conversation with him that didn’t weird him out in some way. I really need to work on my relationship with Evil Ed, you guys. It’s not working out like I dreamed as a kid.

I also walked by the tables for Adam West and Burt Ward. Now it may surprise a lot of you, knowing how much of a Batman fanatic I am, that for the entire weekend, I didn’t bother to talk to them or get an autograph. But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m actually not a massive fan of the show. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really great and everything, but as Batman fans go, it just never quite hit with me the same way it has a lot of others. Not to mention, West was charging a million hundred zillion dollars or something like that to even talk to him. This didn’t dissuade any of the diehards though. Despite him sitting there looking glum and older than water, all while making money hand over fist, he had a lengthy line, stretching all the way down the hall. Burt Ward though…poor guy didn’t have a soul.

It was then that I realized that the one I hadn’t knocked out yet that I had my eye on was Naomi Grossman, aka “Pepper” from the latest season of American Horror Story. And man, did she not disappoint.

This is the second of two pictures. After chatting for a while and me shamefully admitting that as big of a fan as I am of the first three seasons of the show, I haven’t seen the third one yet, she had her assistant take a picture of us together. The assistant framed it all weird so it was kind of looking up at us, creating all kinds of bad negative space at the top. Naomi then jokingly chastised her, asking her if she’d ever taken a fucking picture before and if she had any idea what the hell she was doing. It was seriously one of those you-had-to-be-there kind of moments, but trust me, it was hilarious.

After taking the picture, a little girl walked up also wanting one. Instead of having the assistant take care of it, she turned to me and said, “Can you do it? She has no idea what she’s doing and she’d just screw it up anyway. You said you’ve worked in film before right? Maybe you will know how to frame a shot. It’s not like she hasn’t been doing this all damn day or anything.” I died.

So, she was my last hurrah. Time to go. I took one last look around and headed out. When I initially came in on Saturday, I spotted Kit outside and made a note to make sure to take a picture at some point before leaving. I took a few and this was the best one. It was a great time. Can’t wait for next year.

Here is the last of the random pics I took all around. Enjoy and thanks for hanging in here with me for all of this. Stay tuned to this spot. I’ve got some cool stuff planned for the summer. Pinky swear with blood and guts on top.

Thanks for coming back to Part 2 of my coverage of the 2015 Mad Monster Party. When last we left off, we’d just been to the Fright Night panel. After that, I headed to the bar to meet with some friends, including BIll of Veggie Macabre!

One enormous burger and a few drinks later, and it was off for more autographs. On the way, I stopped off at the restroom and got a pleasant surprise in the stall. Something that would make my weekend MUCH better.

Ok, I’m sorry, that didn’t come out… I mean, it was just something I found and grabbed… Oh god… What I’m trying to say is, I put it in my pocket and… OH JESUS, JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE.

You see this? This pin means you bought an R.I.P. Pass. Basically, flashing this gets you a three day pass for all three days of the con, as well as other special privileges, including getting to the front of the line for autographs. Well, I stepped into a stall to take care of some business, looked down, and there on the shelf was was this golden ticket.

Now I had to do some moral inventory. Clearly, someone, somewhere paid a hefty price to get the R.I.P. treatment. They only sell a limited number of those tickets and they usually go for around $200. I was only planning on being at the con for one day, and that cost $35 (not including pictures and autographs). So, I made a deal with myself. If someone came into the restroom specifically looking for the pin while I was there, I’d fork it over. But, if I walked out without hearing a word about it, then I was home free. Besides, whoever bought the ticket would have email proof of the ticket purchase anyway, so he could possibly just get his hands on a new pin. Well, that’s what we’re telling ourselves anyway.

I guess I don’t have to tell you how it went down. I clearly still have the pin.

WELL, LOOK WHO’S A BIG SHOT NOW! I spent the rest of the evening flashing that bad boy all over the place, hanging out in special, elite lounges and skirting to the head of a couple of long lines, which is exactly how I so easily got this.

It’s Peter Criss’s book and autograph. I’d bought the book ahead of time just in case he wasn’t selling them at his table, which was a good call, because he was sold out. I’m a moderate KISS fan. I like a lot of their older stuff, but I wouldn’t say I’m even close the level of the guy in line in front of me who came in full Criss cat makeup and costume, and talked Peter’s head off to the point that security had to kind of shoo him out.

But, I am a wannabe drummer and out of all the guys in that band, he is the one I’d go out of my way to meet. Unfortunately, I had to budget my autograph/picture money out and he was just asking way too much to have a picture taken. So, I settled for just the autographed book. I wanted to read it anyway. Two birds with one stone and all that.

I have to say, he was INCREDIBLY nice and gracious. We talked for a bit and he gave me some advice on drumming, and insisted on giving me a hug. I can’t speak from experience, but I have a feeling Gene Simmons would have probably charged $15 just for permission to speak his name.

After this, it was time to move on to meeting the rest of the Fright Night cast that I hadn’t met yet. I already knocked out Stephen Geoffreys (twice) and Chris Sarandon several years ago, but this year they were ALL there, minus Roddy McDowell of course (R.I.P.).

They each had their own table along the wall here, and I went down the line, starting with Amanda Bearse. She’s an incredibly nice lady and she talked to me for quite a while. Plus, I’ve always kind of had a thing for Vampire Amy, so this particular autograph is going to go down as one of my favorites. I had to resist the temptation to not be that guy and ask her to punch me in the arm, just so I could say “AAAAAY-meee!”

Next up, William Ragsdale! FINALLY, I met Charley Brewster! And yes, he was in fact, so cool. We talked about the film industry in general for a bit as well as his recent roll on a Criminal Minds episode. I was jazzed when I saw him turn up in that. It’s nice to know he’s still getting regular work. I also let him know that I always enjoyed Herman’s Head. I haven’t seen that in years and have no idea how well it holds up, but I’ll just hang on to my memories. Sometimes older sitcom just…well, don’t.

And now, Jonathan aka Billy! You may also know him as Jerry Dandrige’s…ahem, “roommate”. Much has been said about Fright Night‘s possible gay subtext and it was a subject that was brought up at the panel I attended earlier. As a kid, I never picked up on any of it, but I’ve never exactly been known for my horror gaydar anyway. Hell, I didn’t even think anything was weird about A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 for years, and that was the same movie where Freddy straight up kills a guy by whipping his bare ass with a gym towel in a steamy locker room, minutes after this happened:

Anyway, gay subtext or not, I always enjoyed Jonathan’s character and told him that my cousin and I have a running joke that whenever one of us wants to make the other one laugh, we’ll turn the other guy, make a cross with our index fingers and go, “Uh, oh!”

You uh…have to the see the movie.

Also, the whole interaction with Stark and Ragsdale was doubly funny and awkward because they were nice enough to handle the picture taking for one another’s fans. I can count having Charley Brewster try to figure out my phone so he can take a picture of me with Jerry Dandrige’s ghoul as being one of the most surreal experiences of my life. We also stood side by side at the urinals in the restroom later…so that happened. Mad Monster Party restrooms, you guys. I’m telling you. Full of surprises.

I think that will do it for this installment. When we come back, we spend a lot more time with Bill, I have one final awkward interaction with Stephen Geoffreys, we meet a few more celebrities, and I tell you about quite literally (and I’m using that term properly here) one of the greatest experiences of my life. For now, more cosplay.

Well, HELLLOOO, Akasha!

In keeping with my usual tradition of reporting cool things that happen long after everyone has finished talking about them, I’ve decided to finally get round to writing about THE MAD MONSTER PARTY horror convention I attended nigh on two months ago. So much happened at the convention that I’m spreading my adventures there over two or three posts.

Since Dark Entries: Goth Radio (podcast found here) is on summer hiatus, I’m going to have a lot more free time over the next several months to post more frequently. So, consider this just the first of hopefully many things to come before we all get geared up to put together some shitty costume at the last minute by buying a dodgy mask at a CVS minutes before we have to drive to a Halloween party. Yeah, like I’m the only person who’s ever done that.

I’ve made no bones about my love of all things Clive Barker and Hellraiser. It’s hands down my favorite horror film of all time and Barker himself, as well as Doug Bradley, have always been at the top of my bucket list of horror icons I’ve always wanted to meet. So when I found out that Doug Bradley would be in attendance this year, well, Jesus wept if I wasn’t jazzed beyond belief. I’ve been to the Mad Monster Party every year since its inception and each year there is always one name that stands out a little more than the others. They’re my own personal BIG NAME – The one person I’d make that drive to see even if no one else was there. This year, Bradley was the guy.

So, after waiting line for an ungodly amount of time to get in, I made a bee line straight for his table and promptly nearly lost my shit when after years of fan worship and Pinhead doodles in all my school notebooks, THIS FINALLY HAPPENED.

And this…

AND THIS…

I’m thinking about hanging it in the bathroom.

Next up was a guy who was my BIG NAME for the first one of these I ever went to, STEPHEN GEOFFREYS. I’m also an enormous Fright Night fan and I’ve met and had my picture taken with him before, but this year, the convention offered the chance to have your picture professionally taken with several stars in full costume. In the case of Geoffreys, it meant buying a ticket ahead of time for $75 and the makeup was provided by Steve Johnson himself, who was responsible for it in the original film. Speaking as a kid who actually entertained the idea of going into practical makeup effects as a career, even just meeting Johnson himself was a huge thrill.

Here is a sentence 8-year-old-me never thought he’d ever type: Here’s a picture of me standing next to Evil Ed in full makeup! Unfortunately, it also happens to be the most unflattering, horrible picture of me ever captured on film. I’m afraid my nerves got the worst of me in the last second and instead of talking him into doing the cool pose with me that I had planned ahead of time, well, it turned out to be this disaster. Is it too late for Jerry Dandrige to find me in an alley and make me cool?

Shortly after that was taken, I headed into the Fright Night panel. Stephen was a little late showing up because he had to get the makeup taken off, but once he got there, it turned into a great one. A lot of great stories were told and Steve Johnson was on fire. That guy’s a character. Here’s the only decent pic I could get.

I think that’s enough for one post. When we return, we’ll meet the surviving cast of Fright Night and have a guest appearance by another amazingly cool blogger and friend. I’m not naming names, but he’s famous for macabre vegetables. I’ll leave you with some of the best cosplay I saw all weekend. THIS GUY:

It’s time again to take a look at another issue of Everyone Needs a Hobby: The Tim Burton Fanzine with a Sense of Humor.

This time it’s Vol. 1, No. 2 – The Fall/Holiday Season Issue from 1994. As far as I know, there never was a 2nd volume. I own three issues of this and like I said when I reviewed the first issue, all three just magically appeared in my possession somehow and I have no memory of how they got there.

A couple pages in, we get this cool little cartoon. These things might actually be my favorite part of the fanzines. No, who am I kidding? The poetry is the best part, but we’ll get to that in a bit. But first, there’s this set of quotes, which I got a real kick out of:

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was so a Timmy back in high school. I even remember drawing pictures of Edward Scissorhands in everyone’s yearbook one year. The whole thing is just entirely unfortunate.

The bulk of this issue is devoted Ed Wood, which had just recently been released. There is also quite a bit of Tim Burton news and sightings, some of which directly relates to him, and some of which is only tangentally connected. However, one of my favorite pages is this:

It’s written by the man himself and displays his love for Vincent Price films, which is no secret to anyone who knows anything about him. But, the real standout here is the note at the bottom discussing the rumor that he’d be making an adaption of “The Fall of the House of Usher”. It’s not the only time in the issue when that’s mentioned. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but I’m surprised he hasn’t tackled something Poe and/or Price related by now.

But fear not! After we suffer through another Alice in Wonderland film (scheduled for 2016), the sequel to Beetlejuice is coming right behind and I can’t think of many things coming up in the next few years that have me so incredibly jazzed. Now, let’s just see how much of the original cast we can get to show up. Of course, if so, they’ll have a little ‘splainin’ to do. Apparently, ghosts age quite a bit. I wonder if Otho is currently in the waiting room, holding a long number. R.I.P., Round Boy.

Alright, let’s get to the REAL reason why you came. THE POETRY PAGE!

This time, we’re treated to two. As with the last issue, the first one is essentially an ode to being so incredibly goth that If I still had long hair, I would have brushed it away from my face in a most dramatic fashion as I read it.

And because this was the “Fall/Holiday” issue, the second poem was of course devoted to All Hallow’s Eve. As I write this, it’s about the middle of March, but my black little heart is always intrenched in October (only seven more months away!). To get yourself in the full mood as you’re reading it, I recommend listening to this:

And finally, let’s check out the back cover. It’s a little cartoon of what I assume is supposed to be Ed Wood’s head on the body of Jack Skellington, carrying the head of what appears to be Stewie from The Family Guy after he got transformed into a pumpkin demon.

Let’s just stop right here. Thanks for reading and helping me to celebrate Halloween in 1994.

As a kid, when it came to steakhouses, you had your Outbacks and your Longhorns, but for the after church crowd, there was only one game in town. Quincy’s. These days, there are only a handful of locations left (none around here), but back in the day they were all over the southeast. The thing everyone remembers most about them is their “big fat yeast rolls”. They were DELICIOUS and the other thing everyone remembers about them is the commercials.

There was a time, at least in my neck of the woods anyway, when that guy was as recognizable as Ronald McDonald or the Kool-Aid Man.

Around the same time, my dad worked at the advertizing firm who handled all of Quincy’s advertizing. Sometimes he would take me to work with him, and being that I was an aspiring artist, he’d let me hang out with all the conceptual artists there. These were the guys who invented the big fat yeast roll! It sounds like a really stupid thing to get worked up about, but as a kid, it was a pretty big thrill. It was like that time I got excited about meeting James O’Barr and having him autograph my trade paperback of The Crow. No, actually, it was nothing like that. James O’Barr was a dick. Also, I remember the offices in my dad’s building all looking like this:

At least that’s how I choose to remember it anyway.

The name of the advertizing firm was Henderson Advertizing. His tenure there resulted in two things: I ate a lot of Quincy’s growing up, and a had a lot of Henderson Advertizing stationary and office supplies around the house. I hung on to some of them over the years and put them to strange use.

Also at around this time, I got into collecting trading cards. I started out with baseball, but transitioned into slightly nerdier stuff later on. I’m guessing this happened somewhere in my early teen years, that sweet spot where your first taste of disposable income isn’t incumbered with things like taste or good decision making. My card collecting dovetailed with the comic book collecting, and since horror has always ruled above all of that, well you’ll see what happened:

I’m calling this the horror trading card notebook, even though you’re going to see a lot of nerdy comic book stuff too. Lay off. I was 14. Let’s open this thing up.

First off, THE INSIDE COVER! Bordering somewhere between nerdy fandom and a porn stash, you can see I’ve always had a thing for both girls and ghouls.

First page: X-Men. I was crazy about the X-Men trading cards back then, especially the ones designed by Jim Lee. I don’t think these are those, but I do have that entire set, complete with all the hologram cards separately.

Sorry for the state of this blurry one. I had to include it because the death of Superman in the early ’90’s was one of the biggest news stories of the decade. Also, note the “Holly Daye” cheesecake to the right.

Next up, proof that this notebook was ’90’s as all shit, The Crow and The Barbi Twins on the same page! I’d actually completely forgotten who the Barbi Twins were (or that I had one of their cards), but this brings back a ton of memories. They were everywhere in the ’90’s from Playboy to commercials to mugs. Most of their merchandise was the type of stuff you’d only find in Spencer’s, but lord, was there a lot of it.

Being a huge fan of both comics and spooky stuff, Vampirella hit home with me pretty hard. Needless to say, I have this entire set of cards. There are a lot more than this in the notebook, but I’m featuring this page mostly for that one on the bottom left. If that existed as a t-shirt, I would have been the weirdo at school who always wore that very t-shirt.

I also remember this model showing up a lot in Wizard and making the convention circuit. These are the backs of certain cards, thus encouraging you to buy more cards in hopes of getting the middle boob one.

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. I love Universal Studios and all its monsters. I have this entire set. See the one in the top left? That also came with the set in the form of a poster that hung on my bedroom wall all through high school. Yeah, I uh… spent a lot of time alone as a kid.

The last page is just one of long cards. I’m only featuring it because they were oddly shaped and I really liked the top 3 because, surprise, I was also way into Sandman.

I know, it’s a major shocker that the nerdy, quiet goth kid also was (is) a huge Neil Gaiman fan. #walkingstereotype

And now the payoff. At the bottom, you can see a female Freddy Krueger and in the top right, Roxy from Gen 13. But, they’re obviously not the stars of the show. If you’re big enough of a horror fan, you’re know who you’re seeing here, but for those of you who don’t, that’s Angela from Return of the Living Dead 3. That one still holds a big place in my heart and I used to watch it once a week or so on VHS. I think it’s the only time I’ve ever had a crush on a zombie. I believe I took this from inside an issue of Fangoria. I used to have a subscription and am thinking about getting another one.

Thanks for reading all of this, all three of you. That was a long way to go to get from yeast rolls to a half naked zombie, but I’m glad we did it. I feel like it brought us closer together.

I’m going to make this a quick one because I’ve got a proper, longer post coming up in a day or two. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I had to run to the landfill this past weekend and discovered a few things about myself in that trip:

1) I (no longer) own a LOT of old computer parts.
2) Making a landfill run takes a lot longer than you think it’s going to.
3) Magazines are heavy, you guys. Really, really heavy.

Anyway, the place I went had a remote section designated for electronics that was comprised of mountains of scrap metal, PC’s, printers, and televisions. I had quite a few PC’s and printers to unload, so I was making a lot of trips back to the large moving truck I’d rented. When I came back to Computer Mountain for the last time, I spotted this:

I swear I didn’t notice that tricycle there before and there was no reason for it to be sitting among all the printers and PC’s.

I couldn’t hightail it out of there fast enough. I’ve already seen how this movie ends.

I’m gonna start this post off with a quick update on one I wrote a while back. Just before Christmas, I wrote a review of Death Game, a great little cult home invasion flick from 1977 that’s just been remade by Eli Roth under the title Knock Knock. Earlier this week, Roth put out a teaser trailer for it. It’s not much, but you can get the general feel of what he’s going for, which is pretty much exactly the same as the original. I hope that its release will result in a new found interest in Death Game. Just remember, you heard about it here first (maybe). Check it out:

On to tonight’s post. Valentine’s Day is coming up in less than two weeks and while Halloween staked its claim on being the scariest of all the holidays a long time ago, anyone who’s ever been single in mid February knows that you don’t know hopeless dread until Feb. 14th rolls around and you don’t have plans. I’ll take a million spook houses, chainsaws, and Vincent Price movies over department store hearts and candy any day.

So, it’s a little surprising that there is somewhat of a shortage of Valentine’s Day themed horror out there. Sure, there are the standards that everyone goes to, but they are just a handful. Taking that one step further, one must cast a slightly wider net and look for horror that centers around couples and relationships in general. In the next two weeks, you’ll no doubt see quite a few articles about the best couples in horror. I’ve long contended that Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum’s characters in David Cronenberg’s The Fly are my favorite horror couple, but a new student film has been making the festival rounds lately that introduces a couple new contenders.

A filmmaker by the name of Ben Aston has just made a fascinating film as his graduation project from the London Film School titled He Took His Skin Off For Me.

Clocking in at just over 11 minutes in length, it tells the story of the stress a relationship finds itself under when a man removes all of his skin to please his girlfriend. What starts out as a pleasant fantasy soon turns into well, just a hassle when it becomes apparent that he’s just going to leave traces of blood everywhere, he can’t land any decent clients at work, and dinner parties suddenly become incredibly awkward.

In terms of tone, it’s closer to the body horror themes of Cronenberg, but it’s impossible to watch it without evoking Frank and Julia Cotton from Hellraiser and Hellraiser 2 respectively.

Clive Barker may very well have cornered the market on images of skinless humans, but Aston and his special effects team have done a fine job here of using that particular surreal image, especially when inserting it into such mundane and sometimes humorous surroundings.

Since its release, the film has made the festival route and has won a TON of awards. Seriously, check out the film’s site. You’ll also find a very detailed step-by-step tutorial on how the effects were created, which is something I would like to personally thank the crew for. THANK YOU for making an effective little horror film with striking imagery that relies entirely on practical, in camera effects. There’s not a shred of CGI in this thing and I hope that more filmmakers follow Aston’s example.

CHECK IT OUT!

While I’m still shaking off the remnants and extra weight of Christmas, my buddy Bill over at Veggie Macabre is actually getting something done. A while back I had the pleasure of heading up to Winston Salem to hang out with Bill, Brian from Review the World, and Ben from Juggernaut’s Cave. We ate a lot of weird food and did a lot of weird stuff. And cousin, when I say weird food, I’m talking some weird ass food.

However, I got into town a little later than Ben and Brian that fateful Friday night, and thank Baby Jesus I did. Bill’s taken it upon himself to post a vid detailing the jump start they got on the fun. And by fun, I mean eating some disgusting looking pickled eggs. I don’t even like regular eggs (I know, I know, go ahead and give me grief about it. Still not gonna eat them though), much less these pink abominations. We shot a lot of video that weekend, so hopefully more of it will trickle out as Bill gets round to editing it. In the meantime, have it, fellas. Better you than me.