Welcome back for the third and final part of my coverage of the 2015 Mad Monster Party. At this point, you’re probably sick of looking at pictures of me with a goofy grin, posing next to b-list celebrities, but things are about to amp up in a major way. So sit back, grab some coffee, absinthe, or whatever your poison of choice is, and enjoy the home stretch.

When we left off in Part 2, we’d met all the rest of the cast of Fright Night and found something great in the restroom that let me go into a lot of cool, secret places. Ok, there is no way I can word that that doesn’t make it sound weird.

Let’s meet some more favorites. First up is Steve Railsback, who I’ve been a huge fan of for years. He’s mostly known for his performance as Charles Manson in the first adaptation of Helter Skelter. I’ll agree he did a great job with that, but for my money, out of all the guys who have played Charlie over the years, the one who totally nailed the voice and mannerisms was Jeremy Davies in 2004’s made-for-TV take on Helter Skelter.

However, when I think Steve Railsback, I instantly think of his performance in Ed Gein. We spoke at length about the role and how he got it and how when I think of the real Ed, I picture Railsback’s face before I picture the actual guy. He just is Ed Gein to me now. Super great guy too. Seriously, meet him if he comes to a con near you.

Next up was another highlight of the con and one of the major reasons why I came this year. TIm Capello! Or, as most of you know him, the oiled up saxophone guy from The Lost Boys. There are very few scenes in films I can think of where a guy just shows up, does a thing for one or two minutes, you never see him again, and it ends up being one of the most memorable parts of the movie. Capello has toured with the likes of Peter Gabriel, Carly Simon, Billy Crystal, and Tina Turner, but that scene, the one we all know and love, made his career and turned him in to a cult film hero.

Dude is cool as all hell too. I’m still kicking myself for not buying a bottle of his own brand of body oil that he was selling from his table. I did manage to snag the autographed poster above though, as well as a CD of his new single, “I Still, Still Believe”, which he also autographed on the back. More on him later.

After him, I finally got to meet Lynn Lowry, who I kept missing all day. We talked about her cameo in The Crazies remake and the fact that the only complaint I had about the con this year was the deficiency of female guests. We’ve already discussed Amanda Bearse, but I also got to meet Christine McCorkindale (“Shunna Sassi” in Nightbreed), although I didn’t get a picture. Lynn was a very nice and friendly lady, and still very attractive. We also had a great discussion about the state of the film industry and her experiences with creepy con-goers. I just hope I didn’t give her another story to tell.

I then headed into the vender room where I got to talk again with Kenny Caperton, owner of The Meyers House – North Carolina, quite possibly the coolest thing a fan has ever done to show his love of a film. I’ve met him before and we have some mutual acquaintances. He’s a great guy and you guys should seriously check out his Tumblr and film, Honeyspider.

After speaking for a bit, I walked around the corner where I spotted Danny Trejo. I don’t have a picture or interesting story, other than to say he was about to go somewhere and couldn’t be bothered to look up from his phone or say a word to me as I mentioned how big of a fan of his my dad is and how much he’d love to be there and, you know what, never mind, Danny just walked off as I was talking and ignored all of that and me completely, so fuck you, Danny Trejo.

Later that night, I met back up with my friends, including Bill of Veggie Macabre fame (one of the best kept secrets on the internet) and hung out in this hotel bar. I half expected to see Jack Torrance sitting alone, nursing a double, and wondering how to handle the woman and the boy. A man does have his responsibilities, after all…

From where this picture was taken, if I’d turned around and took a picture of the other side of the room, you’d see a stage where a Fright Night trivia contest was taking place.

Have you ever had one of those really cool moments in life where you wish you could capture it in time and relive it over and over? Minutes after this picture was taken, both William Ragsdale and Amanda Bearse walked in to hang out for the contest, and as they walked by me, I gave them both a “Hey, how’s it going?” Ragsdale then patted me on the back and said, “Heeey!”

I’m telling you kids, having the stars of one of your favorite horror movies pat you on the back while you’re in an incredibly cool bar, hanging out with some of the best friends a person could ask for…it doesn’t get much better than that.

But, things were going to get even better…

Next up, we went back to the room where the Fright Night panel took place to check out some crap opening band who’s name I can’t remember. After that was an AC/DC tribute band called AC Deceased. They were pretty great, actually.

There was also a costume contest and beauty contest, but I didn’t take too many pictures of that. The one that I did take that turned out ok was just a blurry picture of a guy in a massive Boo Berry costume. Take my word for it, it was fantastic.

All this leads up to the one thing I’ve been teasing for all three parts of my convention coverage. I’m trying to find a way to set this up, but there’s no way to without just coming out and saying it.

I SAW TIM CAPELLO PLAY “I STILL BELIEVE” LIVE.

I know this sounds corny and I don’t care. We had some really great seats and when the music started and he was standing off stage, out of sight with his sax revving up, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been that excited about a show…or anything, ever. Then, dude came out and played the hell out of that song and it was just as glorious as you would want or expect it to be. And it was long! He extended it at the end, came into the crowd, and just rocked out. The only thing that could have made it better was if I’d looked over and saw Star doing her slow clap dance.

I say this without a shred of humor or exaggeration; it was the climax of an amazing weekend and literally one of the greatest moments of my life.

The next morning, Bill and his crew had to split, but I had free reign to go back in for another day because… R.I.P. PIN, SUCKERS! Before checking out some of the panels I had in mind, I had about half an hour to kill, so I decided to go down to the hotel lobby to get some coffee. Coffee was really all I had in mind, but near the bar, they were serving a massive buffet breakfast. One of the bartenders told me they were about to close up, but since they were going to have to pack it all away soon, I could get a plate for free. Keep in mind, those were his exact words.

So I sat down to a couple of massive pieces of bacon, fruit, and juice. I looked over and across the room, sitting alone, I spotted Stephen Geoffreys. Obviously, I wasn’t going to bug him, but it was cool to know that we were sort of eating breakfast “together”.

About a minute later, a waitress came back and dropped off a check… for $17! Hey now, I thought this was free. So, I went back up to the bar and the guy I spoke to earlier was gone. I mentioned it to the female bartender there, and she didn’t seem to know what I was talking about. It was nearly time for the Doug Bradley panel to start, so I didn’t feel like arguing it. That was some damn expensive bacon.

The panel was great and he told a lot of informative anecdotes about how he first met Clive Barker, their early years working together, and particularly about shooting Hellraiser 3, which was shot in North Carolina. I was particularly interested in his detailed description of how the Pinhead makeup has evolved over the years and what it was like to apply it for each film. The Q&A was fun too and hearing him totally rip into Hellraiser: Revelations was worth the price of admission alone.

Next up was the Tobin Bell panel. That guy is intense. I didn’t meet him or get his autograph, but the panel was a lot of fun and he had some interesting stories regarding his career outside of the Saw films. He’s a very serious guy and I get the impression he stays in character during most of the shoots. I kind of regret not bringing a little handheld tape recorder and having him say something into it.

I also attended a Child’s Play panel attended by Chris Sarandon and Alex Vincent. I mentioned in Part 2 that I’d met Sarandon several times, but this was the first time I finally gotten to meet Alex Vincent. He’s a cool guy and incredibly down to earth.

After leaving the panels, it was time for my final sweep. This is both one of my favorite and least favorite parts of every con. Have we milked every bit of this that we can? How much money do we have left for one final autograph? Who haven’t we met yet? This is it. YOUR LAST SHOT to do something or see something or meet someone cool. Don’t blow it.

So, I made a final sweep of the Fright Night cast, saying my goodbyes to all of them. I stopped by Stephen Geoffreys’s table and mentioned the $17 dollar bacon to him. He got all shifty and nervous, looking around, and said, “Yeah, that’s uh…really unfortunate.” I don’t think I’ve ever had a single conversation with him that didn’t weird him out in some way. I really need to work on my relationship with Evil Ed, you guys. It’s not working out like I dreamed as a kid.

I also walked by the tables for Adam West and Burt Ward. Now it may surprise a lot of you, knowing how much of a Batman fanatic I am, that for the entire weekend, I didn’t bother to talk to them or get an autograph. But, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m actually not a massive fan of the show. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really great and everything, but as Batman fans go, it just never quite hit with me the same way it has a lot of others. Not to mention, West was charging a million hundred zillion dollars or something like that to even talk to him. This didn’t dissuade any of the diehards though. Despite him sitting there looking glum and older than water, all while making money hand over fist, he had a lengthy line, stretching all the way down the hall. Burt Ward though…poor guy didn’t have a soul.

It was then that I realized that the one I hadn’t knocked out yet that I had my eye on was Naomi Grossman, aka “Pepper” from the latest season of American Horror Story. And man, did she not disappoint.

This is the second of two pictures. After chatting for a while and me shamefully admitting that as big of a fan as I am of the first three seasons of the show, I haven’t seen the third one yet, she had her assistant take a picture of us together. The assistant framed it all weird so it was kind of looking up at us, creating all kinds of bad negative space at the top. Naomi then jokingly chastised her, asking her if she’d ever taken a fucking picture before and if she had any idea what the hell she was doing. It was seriously one of those you-had-to-be-there kind of moments, but trust me, it was hilarious.

After taking the picture, a little girl walked up also wanting one. Instead of having the assistant take care of it, she turned to me and said, “Can you do it? She has no idea what she’s doing and she’d just screw it up anyway. You said you’ve worked in film before right? Maybe you will know how to frame a shot. It’s not like she hasn’t been doing this all damn day or anything.” I died.

So, she was my last hurrah. Time to go. I took one last look around and headed out. When I initially came in on Saturday, I spotted Kit outside and made a note to make sure to take a picture at some point before leaving. I took a few and this was the best one. It was a great time. Can’t wait for next year.

Here is the last of the random pics I took all around. Enjoy and thanks for hanging in here with me for all of this. Stay tuned to this spot. I’ve got some cool stuff planned for the summer. Pinky swear with blood and guts on top.

Thanks for coming back to Part 2 of my coverage of the 2015 Mad Monster Party. When last we left off, we’d just been to the Fright Night panel. After that, I headed to the bar to meet with some friends, including BIll of Veggie Macabre!

One enormous burger and a few drinks later, and it was off for more autographs. On the way, I stopped off at the restroom and got a pleasant surprise in the stall. Something that would make my weekend MUCH better.

Ok, I’m sorry, that didn’t come out… I mean, it was just something I found and grabbed… Oh god… What I’m trying to say is, I put it in my pocket and… OH JESUS, JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE.

You see this? This pin means you bought an R.I.P. Pass. Basically, flashing this gets you a three day pass for all three days of the con, as well as other special privileges, including getting to the front of the line for autographs. Well, I stepped into a stall to take care of some business, looked down, and there on the shelf was was this golden ticket.

Now I had to do some moral inventory. Clearly, someone, somewhere paid a hefty price to get the R.I.P. treatment. They only sell a limited number of those tickets and they usually go for around $200. I was only planning on being at the con for one day, and that cost $35 (not including pictures and autographs). So, I made a deal with myself. If someone came into the restroom specifically looking for the pin while I was there, I’d fork it over. But, if I walked out without hearing a word about it, then I was home free. Besides, whoever bought the ticket would have email proof of the ticket purchase anyway, so he could possibly just get his hands on a new pin. Well, that’s what we’re telling ourselves anyway.

I guess I don’t have to tell you how it went down. I clearly still have the pin.

WELL, LOOK WHO’S A BIG SHOT NOW! I spent the rest of the evening flashing that bad boy all over the place, hanging out in special, elite lounges and skirting to the head of a couple of long lines, which is exactly how I so easily got this.

It’s Peter Criss’s book and autograph. I’d bought the book ahead of time just in case he wasn’t selling them at his table, which was a good call, because he was sold out. I’m a moderate KISS fan. I like a lot of their older stuff, but I wouldn’t say I’m even close the level of the guy in line in front of me who came in full Criss cat makeup and costume, and talked Peter’s head off to the point that security had to kind of shoo him out.

But, I am a wannabe drummer and out of all the guys in that band, he is the one I’d go out of my way to meet. Unfortunately, I had to budget my autograph/picture money out and he was just asking way too much to have a picture taken. So, I settled for just the autographed book. I wanted to read it anyway. Two birds with one stone and all that.

I have to say, he was INCREDIBLY nice and gracious. We talked for a bit and he gave me some advice on drumming, and insisted on giving me a hug. I can’t speak from experience, but I have a feeling Gene Simmons would have probably charged $15 just for permission to speak his name.

After this, it was time to move on to meeting the rest of the Fright Night cast that I hadn’t met yet. I already knocked out Stephen Geoffreys (twice) and Chris Sarandon several years ago, but this year they were ALL there, minus Roddy McDowell of course (R.I.P.).

They each had their own table along the wall here, and I went down the line, starting with Amanda Bearse. She’s an incredibly nice lady and she talked to me for quite a while. Plus, I’ve always kind of had a thing for Vampire Amy, so this particular autograph is going to go down as one of my favorites. I had to resist the temptation to not be that guy and ask her to punch me in the arm, just so I could say “AAAAAY-meee!”

Next up, William Ragsdale! FINALLY, I met Charley Brewster! And yes, he was in fact, so cool. We talked about the film industry in general for a bit as well as his recent roll on a Criminal Minds episode. I was jazzed when I saw him turn up in that. It’s nice to know he’s still getting regular work. I also let him know that I always enjoyed Herman’s Head. I haven’t seen that in years and have no idea how well it holds up, but I’ll just hang on to my memories. Sometimes older sitcom just…well, don’t.

And now, Jonathan aka Billy! You may also know him as Jerry Dandrige’s…ahem, “roommate”. Much has been said about Fright Night‘s possible gay subtext and it was a subject that was brought up at the panel I attended earlier. As a kid, I never picked up on any of it, but I’ve never exactly been known for my horror gaydar anyway. Hell, I didn’t even think anything was weird about A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2 for years, and that was the same movie where Freddy straight up kills a guy by whipping his bare ass with a gym towel in a steamy locker room, minutes after this happened:

Anyway, gay subtext or not, I always enjoyed Jonathan’s character and told him that my cousin and I have a running joke that whenever one of us wants to make the other one laugh, we’ll turn the other guy, make a cross with our index fingers and go, “Uh, oh!”

You uh…have to the see the movie.

Also, the whole interaction with Stark and Ragsdale was doubly funny and awkward because they were nice enough to handle the picture taking for one another’s fans. I can count having Charley Brewster try to figure out my phone so he can take a picture of me with Jerry Dandrige’s ghoul as being one of the most surreal experiences of my life. We also stood side by side at the urinals in the restroom later…so that happened. Mad Monster Party restrooms, you guys. I’m telling you. Full of surprises.

I think that will do it for this installment. When we come back, we spend a lot more time with Bill, I have one final awkward interaction with Stephen Geoffreys, we meet a few more celebrities, and I tell you about quite literally (and I’m using that term properly here) one of the greatest experiences of my life. For now, more cosplay.

Well, HELLLOOO, Akasha!

In keeping with my usual tradition of reporting cool things that happen long after everyone has finished talking about them, I’ve decided to finally get round to writing about THE MAD MONSTER PARTY horror convention I attended nigh on two months ago. So much happened at the convention that I’m spreading my adventures there over two or three posts.

Since Dark Entries: Goth Radio (podcast found here) is on summer hiatus, I’m going to have a lot more free time over the next several months to post more frequently. So, consider this just the first of hopefully many things to come before we all get geared up to put together some shitty costume at the last minute by buying a dodgy mask at a CVS minutes before we have to drive to a Halloween party. Yeah, like I’m the only person who’s ever done that.

I’ve made no bones about my love of all things Clive Barker and Hellraiser. It’s hands down my favorite horror film of all time and Barker himself, as well as Doug Bradley, have always been at the top of my bucket list of horror icons I’ve always wanted to meet. So when I found out that Doug Bradley would be in attendance this year, well, Jesus wept if I wasn’t jazzed beyond belief. I’ve been to the Mad Monster Party every year since its inception and each year there is always one name that stands out a little more than the others. They’re my own personal BIG NAME – The one person I’d make that drive to see even if no one else was there. This year, Bradley was the guy.

So, after waiting line for an ungodly amount of time to get in, I made a bee line straight for his table and promptly nearly lost my shit when after years of fan worship and Pinhead doodles in all my school notebooks, THIS FINALLY HAPPENED.

And this…

AND THIS…

I’m thinking about hanging it in the bathroom.

Next up was a guy who was my BIG NAME for the first one of these I ever went to, STEPHEN GEOFFREYS. I’m also an enormous Fright Night fan and I’ve met and had my picture taken with him before, but this year, the convention offered the chance to have your picture professionally taken with several stars in full costume. In the case of Geoffreys, it meant buying a ticket ahead of time for $75 and the makeup was provided by Steve Johnson himself, who was responsible for it in the original film. Speaking as a kid who actually entertained the idea of going into practical makeup effects as a career, even just meeting Johnson himself was a huge thrill.

Here is a sentence 8-year-old-me never thought he’d ever type: Here’s a picture of me standing next to Evil Ed in full makeup! Unfortunately, it also happens to be the most unflattering, horrible picture of me ever captured on film. I’m afraid my nerves got the worst of me in the last second and instead of talking him into doing the cool pose with me that I had planned ahead of time, well, it turned out to be this disaster. Is it too late for Jerry Dandrige to find me in an alley and make me cool?

Shortly after that was taken, I headed into the Fright Night panel. Stephen was a little late showing up because he had to get the makeup taken off, but once he got there, it turned into a great one. A lot of great stories were told and Steve Johnson was on fire. That guy’s a character. Here’s the only decent pic I could get.

I think that’s enough for one post. When we return, we’ll meet the surviving cast of Fright Night and have a guest appearance by another amazingly cool blogger and friend. I’m not naming names, but he’s famous for macabre vegetables. I’ll leave you with some of the best cosplay I saw all weekend. THIS GUY:

It’s time again to take a look at another issue of Everyone Needs a Hobby: The Tim Burton Fanzine with a Sense of Humor.

This time it’s Vol. 1, No. 2 – The Fall/Holiday Season Issue from 1994. As far as I know, there never was a 2nd volume. I own three issues of this and like I said when I reviewed the first issue, all three just magically appeared in my possession somehow and I have no memory of how they got there.

A couple pages in, we get this cool little cartoon. These things might actually be my favorite part of the fanzines. No, who am I kidding? The poetry is the best part, but we’ll get to that in a bit. But first, there’s this set of quotes, which I got a real kick out of:

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I was so a Timmy back in high school. I even remember drawing pictures of Edward Scissorhands in everyone’s yearbook one year. The whole thing is just entirely unfortunate.

The bulk of this issue is devoted Ed Wood, which had just recently been released. There is also quite a bit of Tim Burton news and sightings, some of which directly relates to him, and some of which is only tangentally connected. However, one of my favorite pages is this:

It’s written by the man himself and displays his love for Vincent Price films, which is no secret to anyone who knows anything about him. But, the real standout here is the note at the bottom discussing the rumor that he’d be making an adaption of “The Fall of the House of Usher”. It’s not the only time in the issue when that’s mentioned. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but I’m surprised he hasn’t tackled something Poe and/or Price related by now.

But fear not! After we suffer through another Alice in Wonderland film (scheduled for 2016), the sequel to Beetlejuice is coming right behind and I can’t think of many things coming up in the next few years that have me so incredibly jazzed. Now, let’s just see how much of the original cast we can get to show up. Of course, if so, they’ll have a little ‘splainin’ to do. Apparently, ghosts age quite a bit. I wonder if Otho is currently in the waiting room, holding a long number. R.I.P., Round Boy.

Alright, let’s get to the REAL reason why you came. THE POETRY PAGE!

This time, we’re treated to two. As with the last issue, the first one is essentially an ode to being so incredibly goth that If I still had long hair, I would have brushed it away from my face in a most dramatic fashion as I read it.

And because this was the “Fall/Holiday” issue, the second poem was of course devoted to All Hallow’s Eve. As I write this, it’s about the middle of March, but my black little heart is always intrenched in October (only seven more months away!). To get yourself in the full mood as you’re reading it, I recommend listening to this:

And finally, let’s check out the back cover. It’s a little cartoon of what I assume is supposed to be Ed Wood’s head on the body of Jack Skellington, carrying the head of what appears to be Stewie from The Family Guy after he got transformed into a pumpkin demon.

Let’s just stop right here. Thanks for reading and helping me to celebrate Halloween in 1994.

As a kid, when it came to steakhouses, you had your Outbacks and your Longhorns, but for the after church crowd, there was only one game in town. Quincy’s. These days, there are only a handful of locations left (none around here), but back in the day they were all over the southeast. The thing everyone remembers most about them is their “big fat yeast rolls”. They were DELICIOUS and the other thing everyone remembers about them is the commercials.

There was a time, at least in my neck of the woods anyway, when that guy was as recognizable as Ronald McDonald or the Kool-Aid Man.

Around the same time, my dad worked at the advertizing firm who handled all of Quincy’s advertizing. Sometimes he would take me to work with him, and being that I was an aspiring artist, he’d let me hang out with all the conceptual artists there. These were the guys who invented the big fat yeast roll! It sounds like a really stupid thing to get worked up about, but as a kid, it was a pretty big thrill. It was like that time I got excited about meeting James O’Barr and having him autograph my trade paperback of The Crow. No, actually, it was nothing like that. James O’Barr was a dick. Also, I remember the offices in my dad’s building all looking like this:

At least that’s how I choose to remember it anyway.

The name of the advertizing firm was Henderson Advertizing. His tenure there resulted in two things: I ate a lot of Quincy’s growing up, and a had a lot of Henderson Advertizing stationary and office supplies around the house. I hung on to some of them over the years and put them to strange use.

Also at around this time, I got into collecting trading cards. I started out with baseball, but transitioned into slightly nerdier stuff later on. I’m guessing this happened somewhere in my early teen years, that sweet spot where your first taste of disposable income isn’t incumbered with things like taste or good decision making. My card collecting dovetailed with the comic book collecting, and since horror has always ruled above all of that, well you’ll see what happened:

I’m calling this the horror trading card notebook, even though you’re going to see a lot of nerdy comic book stuff too. Lay off. I was 14. Let’s open this thing up.

First off, THE INSIDE COVER! Bordering somewhere between nerdy fandom and a porn stash, you can see I’ve always had a thing for both girls and ghouls.

First page: X-Men. I was crazy about the X-Men trading cards back then, especially the ones designed by Jim Lee. I don’t think these are those, but I do have that entire set, complete with all the hologram cards separately.

Sorry for the state of this blurry one. I had to include it because the death of Superman in the early ’90’s was one of the biggest news stories of the decade. Also, note the “Holly Daye” cheesecake to the right.

Next up, proof that this notebook was ’90’s as all shit, The Crow and The Barbi Twins on the same page! I’d actually completely forgotten who the Barbi Twins were (or that I had one of their cards), but this brings back a ton of memories. They were everywhere in the ’90’s from Playboy to commercials to mugs. Most of their merchandise was the type of stuff you’d only find in Spencer’s, but lord, was there a lot of it.

Being a huge fan of both comics and spooky stuff, Vampirella hit home with me pretty hard. Needless to say, I have this entire set of cards. There are a lot more than this in the notebook, but I’m featuring this page mostly for that one on the bottom left. If that existed as a t-shirt, I would have been the weirdo at school who always wore that very t-shirt.

I also remember this model showing up a lot in Wizard and making the convention circuit. These are the backs of certain cards, thus encouraging you to buy more cards in hopes of getting the middle boob one.

Now we’re getting to the good stuff. I love Universal Studios and all its monsters. I have this entire set. See the one in the top left? That also came with the set in the form of a poster that hung on my bedroom wall all through high school. Yeah, I uh… spent a lot of time alone as a kid.

The last page is just one of long cards. I’m only featuring it because they were oddly shaped and I really liked the top 3 because, surprise, I was also way into Sandman.

I know, it’s a major shocker that the nerdy, quiet goth kid also was (is) a huge Neil Gaiman fan. #walkingstereotype

And now the payoff. At the bottom, you can see a female Freddy Krueger and in the top right, Roxy from Gen 13. But, they’re obviously not the stars of the show. If you’re big enough of a horror fan, you’re know who you’re seeing here, but for those of you who don’t, that’s Angela from Return of the Living Dead 3. That one still holds a big place in my heart and I used to watch it once a week or so on VHS. I think it’s the only time I’ve ever had a crush on a zombie. I believe I took this from inside an issue of Fangoria. I used to have a subscription and am thinking about getting another one.

Thanks for reading all of this, all three of you. That was a long way to go to get from yeast rolls to a half naked zombie, but I’m glad we did it. I feel like it brought us closer together.

I’m going to make this a quick one because I’ve got a proper, longer post coming up in a day or two. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I had to run to the landfill this past weekend and discovered a few things about myself in that trip:

1) I (no longer) own a LOT of old computer parts.
2) Making a landfill run takes a lot longer than you think it’s going to.
3) Magazines are heavy, you guys. Really, really heavy.

Anyway, the place I went had a remote section designated for electronics that was comprised of mountains of scrap metal, PC’s, printers, and televisions. I had quite a few PC’s and printers to unload, so I was making a lot of trips back to the large moving truck I’d rented. When I came back to Computer Mountain for the last time, I spotted this:

I swear I didn’t notice that tricycle there before and there was no reason for it to be sitting among all the printers and PC’s.

I couldn’t hightail it out of there fast enough. I’ve already seen how this movie ends.

I’m gonna start this post off with a quick update on one I wrote a while back. Just before Christmas, I wrote a review of Death Game, a great little cult home invasion flick from 1977 that’s just been remade by Eli Roth under the title Knock Knock. Earlier this week, Roth put out a teaser trailer for it. It’s not much, but you can get the general feel of what he’s going for, which is pretty much exactly the same as the original. I hope that its release will result in a new found interest in Death Game. Just remember, you heard about it here first (maybe). Check it out:

On to tonight’s post. Valentine’s Day is coming up in less than two weeks and while Halloween staked its claim on being the scariest of all the holidays a long time ago, anyone who’s ever been single in mid February knows that you don’t know hopeless dread until Feb. 14th rolls around and you don’t have plans. I’ll take a million spook houses, chainsaws, and Vincent Price movies over department store hearts and candy any day.

So, it’s a little surprising that there is somewhat of a shortage of Valentine’s Day themed horror out there. Sure, there are the standards that everyone goes to, but they are just a handful. Taking that one step further, one must cast a slightly wider net and look for horror that centers around couples and relationships in general. In the next two weeks, you’ll no doubt see quite a few articles about the best couples in horror. I’ve long contended that Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum’s characters in David Cronenberg’s The Fly are my favorite horror couple, but a new student film has been making the festival rounds lately that introduces a couple new contenders.

A filmmaker by the name of Ben Aston has just made a fascinating film as his graduation project from the London Film School titled He Took His Skin Off For Me.

Clocking in at just over 11 minutes in length, it tells the story of the stress a relationship finds itself under when a man removes all of his skin to please his girlfriend. What starts out as a pleasant fantasy soon turns into well, just a hassle when it becomes apparent that he’s just going to leave traces of blood everywhere, he can’t land any decent clients at work, and dinner parties suddenly become incredibly awkward.

In terms of tone, it’s closer to the body horror themes of Cronenberg, but it’s impossible to watch it without evoking Frank and Julia Cotton from Hellraiser and Hellraiser 2 respectively.

Clive Barker may very well have cornered the market on images of skinless humans, but Aston and his special effects team have done a fine job here of using that particular surreal image, especially when inserting it into such mundane and sometimes humorous surroundings.

Since its release, the film has made the festival route and has won a TON of awards. Seriously, check out the film’s site. You’ll also find a very detailed step-by-step tutorial on how the effects were created, which is something I would like to personally thank the crew for. THANK YOU for making an effective little horror film with striking imagery that relies entirely on practical, in camera effects. There’s not a shred of CGI in this thing and I hope that more filmmakers follow Aston’s example.

CHECK IT OUT!

While I’m still shaking off the remnants and extra weight of Christmas, my buddy Bill over at Veggie Macabre is actually getting something done. A while back I had the pleasure of heading up to Winston Salem to hang out with Bill, Brian from Review the World, and Ben from Juggernaut’s Cave. We ate a lot of weird food and did a lot of weird stuff. And cousin, when I say weird food, I’m talking some weird ass food.

However, I got into town a little later than Ben and Brian that fateful Friday night, and thank Baby Jesus I did. Bill’s taken it upon himself to post a vid detailing the jump start they got on the fun. And by fun, I mean eating some disgusting looking pickled eggs. I don’t even like regular eggs (I know, I know, go ahead and give me grief about it. Still not gonna eat them though), much less these pink abominations. We shot a lot of video that weekend, so hopefully more of it will trickle out as Bill gets round to editing it. In the meantime, have it, fellas. Better you than me.

One of my favorite podcasts that gets me through the workday is Killer POV . It’s comprised of three incredibly rad horror industry insiders – Fangoria’s Rebekah McKendry, FEARnet’s Rob Galluzzo, and Inside Horror’s Elric Kane – who have turned me on to a lot of cool films in the last several months. I can’t recommend it enough.

In a recent episode discussing Christmas themed horror, they had AJ Bowen on as a guest, who said something to the effect of being somewhat jealous of anyone who has never seen Black Christmas, considering its classic status and importance and influence on the genre. I can relate, as I’ve personally had the experience of sitting down with someone who had never seen Halloween or Halloween 2 and introducing the franchise to them for the first time. Watching them see one of my favorites through fresh eyes was a major thrill.

So, it is with this post that I can say to AJ Bowen, today, you have reason to be jealous. I’ve been a life-long horror fan and I like to think I’ve been around the block a little bit, but there have been a few classics, cult or otherwise, who for whatever reason, have fallen through the cracks for me. I can’t explain how or why, but I’ve just never gotten around to seeing some of them.

I’ve decided to do something about that, starting here and now. So, with this post, I’m creating a new feature on the site — HORROR CLASSICS THROUGH FRESH EYES. The purpose of this will be to apply what I’ve learned through 20+ years of horror fandom to not only catch up on some stuff I should have seen a long time ago, but to also make a few observations that hopefully, once in a blue moon, may be somewhat fresh – or at the very least, interesting for folks who are already well familiar with this material.

With Christmas being less than a week away, let’s not waste any more time on the preamble and get down to it for the first edition with something I finally had the pleasure of sitting down and watching today for the first time ever: Black Christmas.

Of course, I’ve heard quite a bit about this over the years, but only knew the bare bones — slasher film, takes place on Christmas, lots of pretty girls. Literally, that’s all I knew. It wasn’t until the credits rolled just a few hours ago that I found out that Margot Kidder and and John Saxon were even in it. So, this thing was full of pleasant surprises all around.

I’m not going to waste too much space here summarizing plot. I’m going to guess anyone reading this is already familiar, and if you’re not, I’d recommend watching it before you read this. I might get a little spoilery before it’s over.

I’m basically just going to hit some highlights and discuss some observations that hit me as I went along. First off, the language. And by that, I mean, the fact that the characters weave obscenities like a fine art. I’m not usually taken aback by a few adult words, but I did chuckle a little at th­­­­e fact that the first words of dialogue spoken are, “Who left the goddamn door open?” You just don’t expect that kind of language from Lois Lane.

Just when you get used to it, the girls get their first call from the killer. After Multiple Miggs gets finished discussing how he’d like to get to know them, the virginal one of the group, Clare, heads upstairs to become the first victim.

I particularly enjoyed her death and it was the first time in which I noticed how the film makes creative use of diegetic sound, punctuating her appearance in the frame with the sound of both the killer singing and a church bell in the next scene. It wasn’t groundbreaking, but was incredibly well done.

Probably the best use of creative diegetic sound came later in the film in this shot, when the group is looking for Clare, who’s been missing for quite some time by this point.

In the preceding shot, Peter, distressed about the trouble in his relationship with Jess, smashed the inside of his piano, the sound of the struck strings vibrating into this shot. You can’t hear what’s happening on the inside of the house, but what you do hear is an effective combination of those strings, a dog barking, and a distant siren. The combined effect really works to help build the dread and intensity regarding the hunt for Clare.

It also somewhat breaks the rule that we’ve all become used to of the sweetest, virginal girl in the bunch ending up as the Final Girl. At this point, all bets were off, and while I was guessing it was going to end up being Margo Kidder’s character, Barb, I still had no clue.

I certainly didn’t expect it to end up being Jess, played by the unbelievably beautiful and talented Olivia Hussey. I thought early on that her storyline with Peter would only be a minor subplot, and I kind of liked it that way. I like that this serious, adult pregnancy drama was woven into what could easily be written off as a slasher film that just also happened to have a lot of genuinely funny comedy worked in. The revelation of this painting made me laugh a little more than I probably should have.

There is so much going on in this thing. Jess and Peter’s storyline kind of felt like it could have easily been its own movie, and one that I wouldn’t have mind seeing.

She really stands out here and has an exotic, otherwordly quality. I looked her up, thinking that there had to be something I’d seen her in or eventually would, and I wasn’t disappointed. I then remembered her from the old Romeo and Juliet production that everyone was required to see in high school and was pleasantly surprised to see that she also played Norma Bates in Psycho IV: The Beginning. I’ve only seen the first one, and I’m thinking I need to tackle the series for a future review. Robert Galluzzo, of the aforementioned Killer POV, actually directed a celebrated documentary on the series, The Psycho Legacy. I’m looking forward to catching that as well.

A few other points of interest: I found the cinematography to be very smooth and economical. Not a shot was wasted, but at the same time, Reginald H. Morris (also responsible for Porky’s and A Christmas Story) really knows how to stylishly move the camera. He effectively takes our attention where he wants it with a dash of flash, without it trying to seem flashy, if that makes any sense at all. I’m also seriously digging the composition in shots like this.

Another highlight is John Saxon, playing Lt. Ken Fuller. It’s fun to go into this blind – for one, not knowing he was even in it, and for two, not knowing he’d play such a similar part as he does in the A Nightmare on Elm Street series. Seeing all the influences and genre conventions this sets up at this point in the game makes me look at what came later in a whole new light.

And now we’re most definitely getting into the territory of discussing something about the film that I’m sure has been discussed by a million times before I decided to tackle it, and I’m sure much more thoroughly. I don’t have much new to add here, but I’m going to mention it anyway:  The obvious example of Black Christmas‘s influence on John Carpenter’s Halloween. An argument could be made that without this, films like When a Stranger Calls and Halloween may not have even existed, or at least not in the way that we know them. Even after only seeing this once just this afternoon, it was a lot of fun to notice where Carpenter drew from it in terms of the POV device, plot structure, cinematography, and oh yeah, AHEM:

Bottom line: I’m glad I finally knocked this one out, and I think it was a good way to kick off this new feature. I haven’t read good things so far about the remake, but I’m still going to see it soon anyway. From what I understand, Andrea Martin (Phyl) actually has a small part in it. I can only dream that she still has that damn haircut. God, I love the ’70’s.

If you’re reading this and you have any suggestions for any horror classics, cult or otherwise, that you think I may not have seen and would like for me to take a stab at, let me know in the comments. You’d be surprised what’s fallen through the cracks. It gets a little embarrassing.

I mentioned a couple posts back that I was going to try squeeze as much content as I could in between now and Christmas, and tonight, I’m vowing to do just that. THE BIG DAY is less than a week away, people. We’re in the home stretch. Don’t pretend that it didn’t sneak up on you too.

I’m waiting on one last present to show up in the mail (this year was a major online shopping one for me) and as soon as that’s here and under the tree, I will officially be done with all my shopping, which brings me to the topic of tonight’s discussion.

PRESENTS! Surprising no one, my penchant for the spooky started early. If there was a weird or creepier version of something, that was the one I always gravitated toward. Castle Greyskull? Sure, it’s cool, but Snake Mountain was where it was at. Judy Bloom? Try Goosebumps. The Monster Squad over Goonies (I still stand by that), and if I was a young girl now, you better believe I’d be all over those damn Monster High dolls.

So, when it came to some of my Christmas presents, my parents knew which way I swung and how to inject some horror into the holidays. Look, I’m not going to pretend that someone else doesn’t do this a lot better, but I’m giving it a shot anyway. Imitation and flattery and all that crap. So, here are some of MY FAVORITE SPOOKY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.

CARNIVAC

Carnivac was part of Transformers’ Pretenders Line. Launching in 1988, later in the Generation 1 run, it was a time when Hasbro was willing to throw just about anything at the wall to see what would stick. The Pretenders were comprised of a tough outer shell that served to trick humans into believing that what they were looking at was a tall human in a space suit instead of a robot basically hiding inside of a giant metal overcoat. Next, they took things a step further and introduced the Pretender Beasts. One of those was Carnivac, a Decepticon that transformed from a robot mode to a wolf mode inside of ANOTHER WOLF MODE. Well, wolf shell, but you get my meaning.

Yeah, I could have asked for Wheeljack or Huff that year, but come on. It’s a double-wolf-robot killing machine. Keep in mind, the purpose was to blend in with the Earthlings, so of course it’s bigger than any wolf in existence, talks, and wears what appears to be a saddle with a giant damn gun mounted on it. Great job, fellas.

MY PET MONSTER

There isn’t much I can say here that hasn’t been expounded upon by better bloggers than me all over the internet. If there’s anything that will get your nostalgia boners going, it’s this little guy. He was technically meant to appeal to both boys and girls, and I guess he did, but I’ve always seen him as basically an acceptable reason for a boy to sleep with a stuffed animal, but be respectable about it. No one can accuse you of being a baby if the toy you’re sleeping with has fangs and breakaway handcuffs.

I have a specific memory attached to this guy and it involves me slightly cheating here. I’m going to fess up and say that even though this is a Christmas centric post, I actually got him on Easter. In fact, he’s solely responsible for me (quick, cover your kids’ ears) figuring out that there was no Easter Bunny. Every year, EB would leave me an Easter basket laying on the living room floor in front of the TV to find when I came downstairs. One day, I hit the jackpot and old Monsty was propped up inside of it. I LOST MY SHIT. You have no idea how long I’d been asking for one. EB had finally come through. I’ll admit, I was kind of playing along for that last year or so, waffling on whether or not I still believed in him (Santa had not quite been ruined for me yet), but this one restored some hope.

Until I found his box and receipt in the kitchen trash about 8 minutes later. Real smooth, Mom. Real Smooth. I’ve long since lost him (the handcuffs probably disappeared about 42 minutes after first picking him up), but he’ll always be one of my favorites, and probably one of yours.

MAD SCIENTIST DISSECT-AN-ALIEN

Oooooh, this is a good one, and a little more obscure. I can’t remember when I first found out about it or even asked for it. I only remember somehow being aware of it and dying to have one. The Mad Scientist line is fantastic and I never understood why it didn’t get more attention. It’s still kicking today and churning out some good stuff, mostly involving slime, but not quite with the charm of allowing me at the age of 8 to be a certified surgeon.

The premise was simple. You lay out a plastic mat full of loads of cool illustrations of body parts, pry open his chest, and remove plastic organs covered in slime for innards and blood. What is not to love about this? I have a very specific memory of sitting at the kitchen table and my mother threatening me with certain death if I got one drop of that crap on her table spread. It would have been absolutely worth it.